I spend a lot of time online as of late and it’s not because I’m watching porn. It’s mainly because I’m on holiday and doing something constructive during this period goes against everything I stand for. Wasting time is an art form that I have become a master of. Some may look at me with contempt for that but I assure you that I really don’t care. Spending my holiday doing schoolwork was never in my plans. Schoolwork is tedious, especially when you’re a medical student and an exceedingly dull one at that. Holiday free time spent examining breasts and peeping into vaginas might sound fun to you but consider the fact that you might also have to palpate scrotal sacs and put your finger inside other people’s anuses. This is a risk I’m not willing to take, hence my sudden interest in the internet.
After you spend a while on the internet, you begin to notice this growing trend. Stupidity is in fashion once again (I say once again because, considering that stupidity is as old as it is, at some point in its glorious history, it had to have been trendy). People are beginning to appreciate stupidity and this increased demand has led to increased supply. Everywhere on the internet, you are being bombarded with all types of stupid shit. From blatantly ignorant YouTube comments to richly stupid blogs, things are getting dumber by the minute. Just being an ignorant muthafucker can get you laid in this day and age. The standards for human behavior on the internet are so low that one could step on them by accident, almost as if someone left them lying on the floor. They say that an idle mind is the devil’s workshop; add broadband access to the mix and you have a combination that frequently gives the devil a boner.
I have therefore decided that stupid is the new black. It has become an essential part of your internet persona and nobody walks around the internet without it. It goes with almost anything these days, be it humor, sarcasm, activism and in some cases, porn. It can be used to accessorize your blog and to provide an overarching theme for your tweets. Really, if you’re not saying something remotely stupid on the internet, then you might as well just jerk off in the privacy of your room because that is exactly what you are doing; pleasuring yourself. Fuck all that deep, intellectual, I-want-to-impact-the-world-positively bullshit…nobody wants to hear that shit. The world is already saturated with people that think they know shit. Fools are like a breath of fresh air with their ignorance and blatant disregard for commonsense. It’s not surprising then how popular some of these fools are.
As an idiot myself, I welcome this trend with open arms because it allows me to be myself and get bitches at the same time. This was something I couldn’t do before for fear of reduced mating opportunities. Now I can stop trying so hard to be intelligent and just go with whatever I like. If I play my cards right, I can become quite popular and sign endorsement deals with stupid companies like MTN to promote their stupid products and services. I might be able to drop out of medical school and do some more stupid shit that will make me a ton of retarded money. I truly believe I have a talent for this sort of thing and so allowing this kind of talent go to waste would be a shame.
Basically, you should expect more foolishness from me. I don’t want to overhype it but the foolishness I have planned out for this blog is going to be epic. I just wanted to make a shitty blog at first but now, I want to really step my game up. I want to be able to tell myself with a straight face that I have the shittiest blog in the world. If not, then I want to make the shittiest attempt at a really shitty blog. Number two won’t cut it for me because I aspire for greatness. There is really, really stiff competition out there but my time is now…and it couldn’t be more here-er.
Let the journey begin…
