What follows are a list of the lamest, cheesiest and funniest pickup lines that people claim to have used. I have for convenience sake classified them into 3 groups: for the lame, for the brave and for the retarded.
Pickup Lines for the Lame
These are the cheesiest lines i have heard in my life...
- I’m a thief, and I’m here to steal your heart
- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together
- I think I need to call heaven because they’ve lost one of their angels
- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
- Can i get your picture to prove to all my friends that angels really do exist?
- do you know cpr? cuz you just took my breath away...
- *Fall in front of a girl* Wow, I’ve never fallen for a girl like you before...
- *rubs her back* I thought angles had wings...
- don’t know how to say this... but I think you have stolen my heart
- can i have your picture, so i can show santa what i want for christmas?
- Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me...
- I wish I were a tear so i could start in your eyes, live on your face, and die on your lips.
- Do u know why the sky is so gray today? because all the blue is in ur eyes
- *check her shirt tag* yep…just what i thought made from heaven
- Ever since I met you, you’ve lived in my heart without paying any rent
- you know what would make this rose look pretty? if you wear it
- excuse me miss im sorry to bother you but i really had to come by cuz i really wanna know your name…
- if u held 6 roses in front of a mirror ud see 7 of the most beautiful things in da world
- Im sorry, I lost the key to my heart and I think you have it…
- I would buy you a drink but I would be jealous of the glass
- all my life i was told no one was perfect…and i always believed it until i met you!
- if i had a nickel for every time i saw someone as beautiful as you, i’d have 5 cents.
- I'm assuming your name is Gorgeous
- It must be a sin to look that good
- You look better than HD
Pickup Lines for the Brave
these are lines that are so outrageous that i would pay good money to hear people actually use them on girls....they might actually work...
- I’ve heard sex is a killer. Want to die happy?
- Excuse me, but I’m new in town, can I have directions to your place?
- Can I buy you a drink – or would you just prefer the five bucks?
- Am I cute enough yet? Or do you need more to drink?
- You know what would look great on you? Me
- Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants.
- Baby you must be tired because you’ve been running through my mind all night
- Do you believe in love at first site, or should I walk past you again?
- Excuse me can I borrow some cash, it is an emergency. My mom told me to giver her a call the first time I fell in love
- if you where my home work, I’d do you on the table
- do you deliver people's mail, because i don't want to surprise you with my package
- Do you have any black/negro in you? Would you like some?
- Hey i really wanna do it with you, get all hot and sweaty and listen to each other breathe hard……so…..wanna go running?
- i love your outfit but think it would look a lot better on my bedroom floor
- you smell. lets shower
- Why don’t you come sit on my lap and talk about whatever pops up?
- do u like sleeping…so do I, lets do it together sometime
- I’m easy, are you?
- Guy: My magic watch says that you don’t have on any underwear. Girl: I do Guy: Damn! it must be 15 minutes fast
- I lost my teddy bear. Will you sleep with me?
- Hi. Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I?
- hey, do u have some time to spare?? (why?), coz i wamna hit on u!
- excuse me miss, the word of the day is legs, lets go back to my place and spread the word
- My names Mike, but you can call me tonight
- Bang me if im wrong, but is your name Amanda??
- *throws random thing at girl* girl:what the hell guy: i just thought this would be a funny thing to tell are kids how we met
- Hey baby, I may not be Mr. Right. But i could be Mr. Right now
- did you fall from heaven? cause that would explain your face…hahaha!
Pickup Lines for the Retarded
WARNING: Do not use lines unless u have an IQ of below 60........this is seriously for retards
- I’m not telling you this because I want to impress you, but I am Batman
- Did your father have sex with a carrot? Cause you’ve got nice eyes
- You must be the reason for global warming because you’re hot.
- Can I read your T shirt in braille?
- You know what? Your eyes are the same color as my Porsche
- Did you fart? Because you blew me away…
- You know, winning the lottery doesn’t mean much when you have a weak heart...
- What has 142 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My zipper
- Excuse me for interrupting and I’m not trying to make a pass, but you must be leaving the country if you’re packing that much ass
- Your mom was pretty good, so i figured you would be too
- Hey are you wearing space pants? because your ass is out of this world
- is your father an alien? cause you’re outta this world
- how do you like your egg’s in the morning? fertilized?
- did you just come from a post-office because damn you have a big package
- Are you a vacuum cleaner? cause you really suck
- Want to make an easy 50 bucks?
- If I was a fly i would be all up on u cause ur Tha Shit
- if u were a screen door…id slam you all the time
- My love for you is like diarrhea, I can’t hold it in
- im an astronaut and my next mission is to go to Uranus
- Are your parents terrorists because you’re the bomb
- *Carry a screw around in your pocket* *Pull it out in front of a fine girl and say* “Hey, look at that… wanna screw?”
- come to the dark side…we have condoms…
- do you have a ninja in your pants because your ass is kicking
- Nice legs, When do they open?
- Are you free tonight or will it cost me?
- hey can you please scratch my back….my arms are far too muscular for me to reach
- I’m a dentist… Can I fill your cavities?
- i wish you were a poster so i could nail you on the wall
